How do you feel about teens and technology? As we talk about teen life skills this month, one of the most challenging things for teens to learn is how to use technology in their lives. Things like how much time they are spending on their smartphones? What they are searching for on the internet? And, what they are learning from these searches? These factors are going a long way to define how they feel and see the world. Let’s take a look at where these devices started.
When did this technology start?
According to Wikipedia, the first handheld mobile phone was developed by Motorola. And, on April 3, 1973, the first mobile phone call was made on a phone that was the size of a handheld cordless phone. Even though the first call was made, mobile phones were not launched for commercial consumption until October 1983.
When I was a young adult, we were just starting to come into the ages of car phones and the notorious cell phone known as a “brick”. These phones were huge and boxy and very hard to carry in your pocket, so you would need a special holster to attach to your belt. All you could do with these phones was make phone calls with a certain number of minutes and were billed for the additional ones you used. Texting would come later on. And that texting wasn’t unlimited. You would be billed by the number of texts you sent.
Since then, minutes and texts have become unlimited, internet service was added to these handheld devices, and then these things called apps were created and downloaded to the device to personalize the device to the user. This turned a cell phone into a smartphone.
Convenience of the technology
These smartphones became a modern convenience for many people.
- It allowed you to be away from home to receive and make calls. No need to be waiting by the phone at home or have an answering machine record a message for you.
- It gave you a handheld GPS to get you from place to place. No more need for those Mapquest paper print outs.
- And with a mobile hotspot, you can now work from a laptop computer from anywhere you want (as long as you are able to get a signal).
The conveniences a smartphone provides for all of us are nice and all. But there are things we need to be aware of. Especially when it comes to our preteens and teens using them.
Teens and technology – How much time is too much time?
The introduction of the smartphone to teens became a huge step to more freedom. Now they could have their own phone number and more privacy when they were talking to their friends. No more call waiting and having to wrap the phone and cord around the kitchen to take your phone call in a closet or laundry room. This bit of convenience for teens also made it harder for parents to monitor how much time they were spending on these phones.
Yes, we can set up apps on their phones to monitor where they are. We can set up limits to when they can be on their phones. But now, some teens have much more time invested in screens than they do invested in actual face to face contact with people. How much time is too much time depends on the teen and what parents see as important. But just like when we put the kids in front of the tv to keep them busy for a bit, giving them a cell phone could be seen in the same light. Are we interacting with our teens? Or are we letting something else do it?
Teens and Technology – what are they looking at online?
When we created this convenience, we made it even better when we added access to the internet. Now we can look things up on Google and we can get directions to that great restaurant our friend told us about. What else can we look up? The internet can take us worldwide to see news and learn about fashion trends happening all over the world.
Now your teen has a smartphone. They are calling and texting with their friends. What are they looking at on the internet?
This is a tough one to monitor. Yes, we can limit what sites our preteens and teens are going to, but their friends maybe able to go more places and are filling our teens in on some of this information. Instead of focusing on where they shouldn’t go, maybe we need to talk to our teens more about making good choices about what they read and how to determine their feelings about it.
Teens and Technology – what are they learning from it?
Social media influences what our teens chose to see on the internet. So, who your teen and their friends are following can have a great effect on the development of your teen’s beliefs about what is going on around them.
Remember when our teens talk to their friends about what they are seeing online, their life experience is at the same level. They may need to be talking to someone who has a little more life experience and can give them some further insight to help make those decisions about what they are reading. My suggestion, try and create an open environment for your teen to come and share their questions with you or another caring adult they can trust.
What can we do?
How do you feel about teens and technology? That is is great place to start understanding where you are with it. Our teens have probably picked up on and modeled how we approach this subject and are continuing how we feel or are rejecting how we feel and are doing their own thing. Before talking to your teens about how they feel, you want to have a good understanding on where you stand on the subject. It would be a great journal topic. #letswriteaboutit.
Talk to our teens
Communication is the key to guiding our teens on good ways to use their smart phones. They are very convenient for access to many good things, but also have many things that can lead us in directions that are not good for us. Ask them about how they feel about teen issues and where they are getting their information.
Talk about decision making skills
One of the things we should be doing is talking to our teens about making good decision for themselves. What might be seen as a good decision for us, may not be the best one for our teens. One of the ways I have talked to my now young adult sons about decision making is to think about how this decision makes them feel. If they feel good, it is probably a good one. If they feel kind of icky about it. Probably means it is one they should look at again or not do.
Learning how to make decisions is a life skill. There are many ways to make a decision. Not just about what they are seeing on the internet, but in their day-to-day lives. Here are a few basic methods for making decisions you could suggest to your teen.
- Create a Pro Con List – to see what the good side and bad side is to the decision being made
- Talk to someone you trust – sometimes another perspective can give you information you may be missing
- Be skeptical about what you are seeing or reading – not everything you see and read may be true. Take a little time to think about it before believing or acting on it.
Listen to what your teens have to say
Open communication with your teen about the issues they face and decisions they are making is important.
Let your teens explain to you why they follow someone online or like a certain website. We as parents and caring adults don’t have all of the answers. We want to be open to other opinions and thoughts not only to grow in our own knowledge, but to show our teens how important that skill really is. Be open minded and hear their reasoning for their choices.
What experiences have you faced with your teens and technology? Please let me know in the comments below.
Looking for more resources about this teen challenge or any others? Be sure to check out our Resources page.
A few good summertime eBooks for you and your teen
Looking for some great teen/young adult reads about the challenges that they face? Check out The Way Series!
Book #1 – The Hard Way – is the story of Paul Jones and his starting his freshman year of high school and how he must navigate dealing with pressure from his peers to do things to fit in.
Book #2 – Shawn’s Way – although it is a continuation of Paul’s journey from The Hard Way, we meet freshman, Shawn Townson. He becomes the target of a bully when an upperclassman decides to take out his frustration on him.
Book #3 – The Street’s Way – is a continuation of The Way Series story which introduces Mikala Kalani as a runaway and homeless teen. She comes to Manor City looking to escape from her abusive stepdad. She arrives with no place to go and must find a way to navigate being homeless in a new city.
Another good thing they can do with their smartphones is read books on them. There are many great books out there that come in an eBook format. Just have them download the Kindle app and they can download copies of these books right from Amazon. These books are also available in paperback if that is the preferred option for you.
So, click on link below to my books page to learn more about the series!
